The color blue.

Today was a bit trying for me. When things go bad I tend to be rather cheeky with people. Cheeky in a bad way that is. The people closest to me notice it right away. I'm not very good at being blue. However, I think sometimes I forget how lucky I am.

Today I was a bit blue and I tried very hardly to hide it. Against my strict no moping at work policy I moped at work for a few moments. You see my two lunch pals are gone. My spirited Navajo woman, who called me her daughter (I am by clan), moved back home. I never got to say goodbye, but truthfully I don't believe in them. People in ndn country know you never really say goodbye because as soon as you turn another corner-there they are. I do however miss her candor about her boyfriend and her grandkids. There is no one buzzing my phone to say, "let's go get me some REAL coffee" and no one to tease me in Navajo.

My other lunch pal was canned yesterday. Neither of us really understands the real reason; and I spent most of the day hoping I didn't contribute to the decision to let her go. Initially, I didn?t get along with her very well. She has a tendency to haze new people & my hazing period seemed a bit long. Regardless, she over time became one of my allies. She stood up for me in times of heat and took all of my teasing about her Hopi-isms. Not to mention she loved to eat & I'm down with food. Give me a pregnant woman to eat with & I'm there-they don't waste a moment when it comes to getting food. Besides, she had worked in the area so long she knew everyone and she knew where to get the cheapest hottest wings. That kind of love can't be bought.

Today I was leaving for lunch alone and feeling like my pity party for one was a bit on the slim side. As I was leaving another co-worker came to me. I invited her to come with me. She shared some personal information. I've known her a long time, but have only worked with her for two weeks. She made me realize what I silly monk I've been. There I was moping about because I had no one to tease and no one to grab a sandwich with and here is someone who is supporting her family on my income. So, I took her out to lunch. Even though she insisted Quiznos was 'too expensive'.

So, I'm still a bit peeved that my truck was vandalized over the weekend; but I have a truck, a good job, stable relationships and I'm moving forward.
There isn't any reason be sad.

"If you have not often felt the joy of doing a kind act, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself."
-A. Neilen.


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Side note: I am however disappointed in this site: *Removed because I realized what a jerk I am to do it to her on the net.*
I used to read it often because I was inspired by the fact that she seemed to be living her dream; however I got my email today and found that she had sent email to her listserv asking people to donate money to help save her cat. I felt is was sad; but the last thing I need is someone tugging at my wallet-especially someone who claims to 'make it' on their own. Get a job lady. That's something I'll NEVER do-ask total strangers to make my life 'suitable'. I at least expect her to dance or sing for me. (Wicked aren't I? Lesson: Don't send Danna email asking for money or she'll publicly flog your ass.)

posted by Danna Saunders @ 1/26/2005 09:38:00 PM