ac/dc

Dear itunes music store,
As a former wanna-be basketball player from the Navajo Nation, I would just like to say-you fricken suck.
Why the hell don't you have thunderstruck? It's only the most abused song by Navajo Basketball Players of the last decade. I mean come on--what the hell else are we supposed to run out to in our 3 minute intimidation session?
John Mayer just will not cut it.
Think about it: Would Tuba City have the same amount of oompf if they had to dim their lights and come out to Jessica Simpson. I didn't think so.
Come on now--you've got anna nalick for the free download of the week-do you really think we need anna nalick? Who the hell is she anyways?
Get some damn ac/dc and stop making me look everywhere for music.
Perturbed,
Danna.

Dear Inventor of the bubble bath.
Good call! (or accident.)
A Devoted Follower.

Dear Mom.
Don't do it. If there ever was suck a thing as a spiritual mail box-I've just filled yours with the biggest most pompous hug ever. Steadfast mom, steadfast. We didn't get these ovaries in the lottery-we've stuck it through more than this.
Love your overly-emotional daughter.

Dear Baby.
Stick it out kid. In only 17 more years you can divorce your dad and attend the University of Arizona so your aunt can sport a "my nephew and my money go to The University of Arizona" bumpersticker on her truck. And it will be totally ok for you to major in something silly like Geology. Ok, so you'd have to pick something with some stamina; but I'll take what I can get.
Love your pain-in-the-ass aunt.

Dear Work,
If I don't spend as much time there-don't be surprised. If I leave the ofice for lunch instead of shoveling food in my trap hovering over my cubicle in between appointments; get used to it. Also if someone in particular could stop talking about his girlfriend who is 5 states away. Marry the woman already; don't be talking incessently about the paisley $100 promise ring & referring to--"the one". Holy shit, get a spine your 27 years old-grow up. Also if another co-worker could stop talking about how having her 2 kids and getting married was "not doable again if I had to redo it" then I can live peacfully in my cubicle. Come on people, live-don't spend so much time talking about what could have or could be. Do it. Also, I'd appreciate a reduction in the use of the SPEAKERPHONE. I mean come on-do I really need to hear every detail of EVERY drone ass conversation you have?
Signed atachfully, the office eye roller. (yes, I made that word up.)

Dear Littlest brother.
Work on that math kid. You don't want to end up like your big sister kicking herself for spending so much time reading books & not enough time memorizing the angles of triangles. But hey, you got it in you. Don't forget--if you can roller blade backwards up a hill-math is no sweat.
Your obsessed sister.

Dear Cuddleface,
Remember what we talked about today? I think we should do it. I'll buy the Malibu.
Me.

Dear Gran,
I know you can't write because your hands are bad; but I miss your notes. I miss your bread. I miss your stories. Ok, ok--I miss you.
Love your Near-the-Mountain Girl. (I won't forget.)

Dear Dad,
You're too old for this shit-period. You'll never get to see that stinkin' Farve boy play if you don't start 12 steppin' it real soon.

Dear Nissan,
You whores better fix my truck.
Danna.

Dear Fat Karate,
Kid, you are one of the few female cousins I have. For some reason today after my run I thought about you & your smudgy eyeliner. I hope you get your ducks lined up and stop kissing your fellow Gallup High Latinos. Show some gumption kid; I know you got it in you. I know you miss your Grandpa-I do too; but for once it's ok to break taboo. I hope you find it before something finds you.
Your too-distant cousin.

Dear Train,
I love Drops of Jupiter. Thank you.
your fan, Danna.


Dear Bo,
Stop scratching. You know your grandma needs a grey cat... That's all for now.
Your mom.

posted by Danna Saunders @ 11/29/2004 07:51:00 PM